Scars are visible reminders of your testimony

Awhile ago I wrote a blog about the phrase, "chicks dig scars," and about how I disagreed with that idea when it came to scares on girls. But I've been inspired recently to revisit my thoughts on scars the last two days.

The first inspiration came from one of the shooting victims in Colorado. As a form reporter, I've been watching all the coverage since the horrible incident occurred. On Saturday, they were interviewing one of the survivors in the hospital. The guys was commenting about how he may have been hit by several bullets, his scars will be forever reminders of how he survived and has a life to live.

My second inspirations came from my dad. Today as we were getting ready to head to the golf course, he asked me where I got the scar on my right shoulder. Surprised that he forgot, I reminded him that his demon beach tent attacked me when we were at the beach in April and that scar is still there.

So here are my new thoughts on scars - no, I still don't think chicks dig scars on their own bodies, but every scar tells a story of survival. They are the pictures you have to tell your testimony. While they can be reminders of extreme pain that you went through, they also are reminders that you survived and are now thriving.

Here are some of my scar stories (as I wrote this list I noticed that all of my scars are on my left side - strange!)
- I have a scar on my forehead near my left eye from when I had chicken poxs as a toddler. I must have really scratched that area.
-I have a line in the middle of my left arm when I burned myself on the oven trying to pull out some pizza when I was in middle school. It's hard to see this one in the summer as I tan.
-I've told you about the scar on my back from the psycho beach tent
-I have two small scars on my face (on in between my eyes and one just to the side of my left eye) that happened when I fainted in the bathroom right before I had my second surgery to put my skull back together. Those two are easily covered up with make-up

And then there are the two scars that started the original blog and I think tell the most dramatic story of my life

The first is the U-shaped scar on my left side of my head. This is where, on the early morning of Sept. 18, 2011, a team of amazing surgeon performed brain surgery to release pressure on my swelling brain to save my life.

Luckily, I have very think and fast-growing hair so the scar isn't noticeable. It took me while to even find an old picture where you can see it. You can kind of see it in the below picture that was taken probably a week after I got home from the hospital. I'm napping with my sweet little nephew, Tripp - who will turn one in August!!!

And then there is the "Frankenstein" looking scar on the left side of the stomach. This is where, in an amazing testimony to today's technology, those doctors stored the piece of skull flab they removed to help relieve pressure on my brain. Yes, I walked around with a portion of my skull in my stomach for about six months. No photos of this one, but I did strut around the beach in a bikini in April showing off my scar with pride!

Amazingly, both of those scars were reopened in February to put my skull piece back to where it belongs after my brain had healed. So in a way they are two-for-one scars.

I was angry when I wrote the first blog because I thought these scars were ugly. But now I have other ideas. These two scars remind me of those brilliant surgeons, and how through it all, they were always all at the right place at the right time to save my life (a couple of times). They remind me of the hundreds of people who were interceding on my behalf, calling out to God and praying without ceasing for his healing hand to come to my rescue. It reminds me of the crazy journey I went on the last year, and in some ways are still on. And they remind me that I have a testimony to share - a testimony of healing, a testimony of faith, a testimony of love, a testimony of overcoming fear, a testimony of the power of prayer, and testimony of how my body failed me many times the last year, but God never did.

So while I wish I didn't have all the scars on my body - I do realize the purpose they play and the stories they tell.

From Surviving to Thriving - Summer Camp 2012

I just got home from spending the past week in Covington, GA being a counselor for my church's youth camp. I have a sentimental attachment to this camp for so many reasons that I wont' go into in this blog - the most important reason being as a rising 7th grade girl I walked down the aisle of Mobley Hall to the altar to ask Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I grew up going to this camp, and have been a counselor since graduating high school. For the last 5 years, I've been with the same group of girls who are now rising 11th grades. 

What few people know though is this year I had a lot of anxiety and fear about returning to camp. It's hard to think I was in that place - the speaker, Mark Fritchman, was my high school youth pastor; his wife was my small group leader; I love spending time with my girls; we had a great theme of "Hunger Games" planned for our cabin. On the outside I was super excited about camp this year - but internally I was wrestling with should I really go to camp this year.

If you've been reading this blog then you know my story - how I have battled with major health issues the last two years. Shortly after Summer Camp 2010 I got sick - with the "great" food at camp, we thought I was just reacting to the food. What we didn't know until I was admitted into the hospital for over a week in August 2010 was that I have Crohn's disease. My doctor said I the Crohn's disease was likely dormant for years, but the food and stress of camp likely triggered my first major Crohn's flare up.

Prior to Summer Camp 2011, I was determined to not deal with the same food issues. So I packed up a lot of food that I could survive off of if the food in the cafeteria wasn't a good choice. I will tell you that I remember having a great time at camp - the speaker was awesome, God did great things in the lives of my girls, we all had lots of fun. But little did I know the biggest test of my life was right around the corner. For those that don't know - I went into the hospital for a Crohn's flare up, then after being home for less than 24 hours, my parents took me back to the hospital on Sept. 18 and it was determined I had a stroke. And then I went from improving to needing emergency brain surgery to remove part of my skull on Sept. 25.

The last 10 months I've been dealing with recovering from stroke (which included putting the skull piece back on my head in Feb.) and also trying to get the Crohn's disease under control. As you saw from my last blog I have finally agreed to my doctor's recommendation to go on Remicade - I have my third infusion on Monday. And while I've been dealing with horrible physical roller coaster, emotionally and spiritually I have been through it all.

So while I was excited on the outside - I was scared on the inside. I was terrified that something health related would come up at camp - Crohn's flare up, major headaches/migraines, total exhaustion. But I can tell you that I was great health all week!!!!! I did a great job of listening to my body - so when I needed to rest I did, and when I felt like to could run with my girls (like defending our flag from all those rising-college men in the sock war)

I think part of this is that I changed my thoughts on my fear - with the help of Pastor Terry. I talked with him before camp and knew that the thoughts I was thinking were not from the Lord, but were meant to hinder me from doing what I was called to do - minister my 11th grade ladies.

My passion has been working with these girls for the past 5 years. Mark talked a lot about having a passion and purpose this week. "If you'll give God your passion, he's going to give you his pace," and "When your passion meets your ability, and when your experience meets an opportunity; you'll have impact and find your purpose." While camp is suppose to be for the students - I did get some great encouragement and confirmation that I was suppose to be at camp - no doubt.

The last 10 months, or really two years, I've been trying to survive all the health issues that have been thrown at me. Now, I'm determined to do more than just that - I'm going to THRIVE!!!!

Here is a list of a few highlights from camp:

-11th grade guys and girls winning the Sock War and Overall cabin competition

-Dancing the "Interlude" at 1 a.m. with my girls in the cabin

-Getting to know tons of new campers and counselors

-Attending the "sunbathing" leisure activity for 4 days straight

-Heckling the "Aqua Dancing" instructor while laying out at "sunbathing"

-Spending the week with my youth pastor and small group leader

-Decorating the camp with a Hunger Games theme

-Hearing my co-leader take the Hunger Games and use it to minister to our girls ("I volunteer as tribute," friendship, "Girl on Fire")

-Using my mistakes in dating to encourage and advise my girls to make better choices

-Praying for my girls that they would be filled with the Holy Spirit

-Worshipping  God without fear

-Going from surviving to thriving