Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with my pants on the group

Random question: Have you ever had trouble finding pants that fit because they were squishing your skull? Well I have!!!

This week I started going back to the United Way office. This week I start with two days in the office and the rest of the week I'm working from home. The next following weeks, we are playing this by ear as to which days I work at the office and which days I work from home, depending on how I'm feeling, doctors visits and other things going on.

After wearing comfortable clothes the last few months - basically t-shirts and either shorts, work out shorts or long comfortable pants (depending on the weather) I needed to figure out some work close to wear.

I first needed to change out my clothes in my closet from my spring/summer wear to my fall/winter wear now that it's getting a little cold. That was my first issue. (that has slightly been done, since I'm still on steriods I get hot very easily)

But my other, bigger issues, is I have half of my skull chilling out in my stomach. When I had my emergency brain surgery, the surgeon put the skull he removed in my stomach for safe keeping. They will re-install my skull probably within the next two months - date of surgery is still to be determined and it all depends on how my recovery is going. Just to let you know, having part of your skull chilling in your stomach is the most annoying, uncomfortable thing ever!!!!! The skull likes to shift around, and it makes my stomach bigger.

Having part of my skull in my stomach has created this problem with finding pants and skirts to wear. I typically wear 6 or 8 size pants (depending on the store). I've worn jeans a couple times since I've been out of the hospital when I've gone out with friends, but I've had to wear my larger jeans (you know the ones you have for when you gain that extra weight - like during the holidays). They don't squish my skull. But since I lost so much weight after being in the hospital so long, they're too big on me (also all my belts are too big - and they put too much pressure on my stomach). So when I go out,  I spend the entire time pulling up my pants. They don't fall completely off,  but I could totally be a gangster as they slip down.

After trying on most of the pants that I thought would be work appropriate and comfortable that I already owned and none of them working, my mom and I decided to run out shopping and see what we could find. I didn't want to spend money on any really large pants that I could only wear for 2 months. We were looking for pants that actually fit and weren't squishing my skull.

But after trying on about 8 pairs of pants, we determined that having your skull in your stomach makes wearing paint impossible.

The only saving grace though is skirts with tights. They are work appropriate and comfortable enough to deal with the annoying skull in my stomach.

The long road to recovery has a lot of parts - and finding clothes is one of them.

Hope this blog made you laugh - cause yesterday's shopping experience totally made me laugh. :)

Workouts and weight gain - two keys to recovery

So beside all the medicine, doctor visits, therapist and finger pricks, there are two other things I must do every day on my road to recovery - workout with exercises from my physical therapists and gain weight. I know this sound totally opposite, but there is a method to the madness.

My physical therapists is a good friend of my sister-in-law, Jessica, who actually specializes in stroke victims. She came over to my house almost a week ago and did a lot of tests to see how I was recovering. She gave me a plan for each day so that I can get back to normal, and she also tested all of my muscle. Most of my muscles were good except my legs (my quads especially) because I was in a hospital bed for almost 4 weeks. After her assessment, she gave Jessica 7 different exercises that I should do every day to get my strength back. I should also go on lots of walks and only hold onto someone to help me walk if I really need it.

So the exercises I have to do each day don't seem to bad - they are different types of leg raises, kicks, pushing up on toes and squats. But they kick my butt. And to make the workouts more intense, my sister-in-law monitors them. Jessica is a personal trainer, very into working out including crossfit. I don't skip doing my exercises cause then I'll get in trouble with Jessica. Right now I have to do ever exercise 2 sets on each leg once a day. Starting soon Jessica is going to increase that to twice a day. I'm glad that I have Jessica kind of "training" me because I want to get back to normal soon and it's encouraging to have her push me so that I don't slack.

Until I have my skull put back in my head, my doctors don't want me doing any major exercises (like crossfit, lifting weights or getting on a treadmill), but I can go on walks. I live next door to a park so it's fun to go walking there (I went walking there yesterday with Elise). And once I get my puppy Isabelle back I talk her on walks there.

Ok so that's all about the workout stuff I'm doing. The other thing my doctors want me to do is gain more weight. When I left the hospital, I weighed 118 pounds. That was 2 pounds lighter than what my drivers license says (I never changed my drivers license from when I got it at 16). I got on the scale at my doctors visit on Monday and I now weigh 130, so I've gained 12 pounds, but the doctors would still like me to add a little more weight.

Luckily I have something helping me out. To help with my Crohns, I'm taking steriods right now. So I am hungry all the time and I can eat like a teenage boy. I'm craving hamburgers and fast food. I'm normally a pretty heathy eater, but the steriods have temporarily changed that. Plus I also have a major sweet tooth right now. Tons of people who have brought us dinner have also brought us desserts (we have cakes, cookies, cupcakes, candy). After I finish all my of exercises, I always reward myself with a dessert :) And to add to all the sweets, my great aunt is making me my own red velvet cake that she'll give me at our family reunion in November. It's my favorite cake ever, so she's making me one as a get well present.

The workouts and the weight gain are an interesting piece of my road to recovery, but they're worth it.

Just a random note to add to this blog: Thank you Jessica, Ruth Allen and Lauren for taking me to dinner last night. It was great to get out of the house and talk with you guys for a couple of hours. I felt like I could be honest with all of you and you guys provided a lot of encouragement! It's great that we're all supportive of each other!

My first road trip after my life started over again

With permission from all of my doctors, I spent Saturday and Sunday of this weekend in St. Simons to watch my good friend Kelli marry Luke. I was really concerned that I wouldn't be able to go, but the doctors cleared me as long as I had someone drive me there - flying is not a good thing for me to do until they replace the skull in my head.

I am soo thankful to my amazing mom who drove me to and from St. Simons, and didn't even go to the wedding herself. We had an great girls weekend though. We left early Saturday morning and got onto the island about noon. We ate a really good lunch of fried shrimp in the village and then went and checked out some of the cool stops. I was able to buy a couple of Christmas presents but I won't say what they are so they remain a surprise.

The wedding was at 4 p.m. and my mom drove me there, and then I met up with the 3 girls I was originally suppose to go to the wedding with - Jessica A., Elisa T., Maria H. These three ladies were amazing. My dad had given Elisa and Maria a long talking to about a week before the wedding to make sure they new how they needed to take care of me at the wedding and keep me safe. And they followed through with their promise to my dad. The three of them were like my personal body guards. The ceremony was outside and it was a little walk from the parking lot. The first part of the path was off road, and when we got there one of the groomsman told us to be careful cause it was a little slippery. So to get me down safely, Jessica went in front of me, Elisa went behind me and Maria was next to me so I could hold onto her and get down without slipping. They three of them did things like that all night so that I wouldn't get hit or pushed on accident. Thank you ladies so much.

I also talked to a lot of folks that night who have been wanting to hear how I was doing and see me for awhile. It is so encouraging that I have so many people who have been praying for me and have been encouraged by how I am recovering from this awful situation. I had several folks say while they hate that something this horrible has happened to me, they believe I am strong enough to make it through and will be a great testimony for many people. 

On Sunday morning, mom and I meet the girls for breakfast and filled her in on all the stuff from the wedding, and then we all went and walked the beach a little bit before we all headed home. It was a good little vacation out of town!

The funniest thing from the wedding is I think some folks are confused about the piece of skull in my stomach. Some people think it's part of my brain - nope not right. And others are wondering if the skull is doing something special in my stomach, like healing something. I just told them that basically no, the piece of skull is just chilling out in my stomach. But to be honest, it is the most uncomfortable thing ever. It shifts all the time - like after the wedding and a 6 hour car ride home it had fallen really low on my hip, which was really uncomfortable. And figuring out clothes to wear is difficult. I lost a lot of weight being in the hospital for so long. So finding pants to wear is difficult. I had to try on 3 different jeans today because the ones that fit the best were too tight on my skull. So the pants I ended up wearing were a little too big and kept falling down.

I did go see my surgeon (the one that will put my skull back in) this morning for a follow up visit. A couple of the news he gave me this morning made me a little depressed. He is thinking it will be 2 months  before he'll put my skull back in (depending on what my neurologist says and when I come off one of my meds). So this means it'll be after Christmas or first of next year. So 2 more months with the annoying skull in my stomach. And I asked him about why every so often my head where he did the surgery gets really tight and hurts a lot (it hurt really bad and was super tight on Sunday.) He said that's basically normal and is just part of the healing process.

So there are good days and bad days with this recovery. I've been told by many people (doctors, therapist, and more) that this healing process will take time. I'm ready to be back to my normal self so sometimes I get a little upset to be reminded that I'll be the normal Ashley again, just not as soon as I want. God and I are talking about this a lot because patience is something I've never been good at. And hopefully one day I'll look back on this whole disaster and thank God for everything I've learned. Right now I'm just ready for it to be over.

Good news, good news, good news - The best day of recovery

So most of you know most of what I’m going to say in today’s blog cause I sent out about 100 text messages of my good news, but I’m going to write it all out today.

Thursday was probably my best day since all this hell happened and I got so much good news I was overwhelmed (and I actually stayed up til 10 p.m. for the first time)

I had my first follow up visit my neurologist, Dr. Hormes. I also had a second doctor visit where I had to get my finger pricked for like the 2,000 time, but my level was so good I don’t have to go back until next Thursday (originally I had to go back on Monday).

So the first part of Thursday I got to do my favorite therapy, which was babysitting Tripp, my 2-month nephew. My sister in law, Jessica, had some things she needed to get done, so I took care of Tripp for like 2 hours. I love that little boy and he loves me. I’m the only person he doesn’t get really fussy with, he’s never vomits on me and we’ll just have all sorts of conversations, which he won’t do for other folks (his parents are really jealous). I sang to him a lot (the new song I sang to him was the Itzy Bitsy Spider) and I also did the whole “I’m going to steal your nose.” He laughed and smiled every time I did that – here is a picture of that. We also snuggled us for a while – he’s a huge snuggler! He’s getting so much fun – every time I see him he’s getting bigger and bigger and is learning new things. He’s going to be such a smart boy!

I also did my exercises that Jessica’s friend who is a physical therapist laid out for me. Jessica is a personal trainer so she made sure I was doing everything right. Most of my exercises are for my legs that got really weak from me lying in a hospital bed for so long. But now I’m walking really well and getting up and down stairs pretty easily. Soon I’ll be walking Kennesaw Mountain again J

Then at 11 I had my big appointment with Dr. Hormes. I had about 4 really important questions I needed to ask him and hoped he said yes to all of him. And good news, good news, good news he did.

The first question I asked was could I go to my friend Kelli Kite’s wedding on Saturday in St. Simons. I had already bought my dress, shoes and hat cause I wanted to go so bad. He said he saw no reason why I shouldn’t go. J Originally I was suppose to go with 3 of my good friends, but now my parents are going with me just to be on the safe side. But they are letting me go to the wedding with my friends and they’ll do something else that afternoon (probably watch Auburn play LSU, which won’t be a very pretty game).

My second question was could he help get me out of jury duty. I got called for jury duty about 2 days after I got home from the hospital. I have never been called for jury duty before and couldn’t believe I was called now. Dr. Hormes that it was stupid I got called so he signed the sheet saying I wasn’t able to do jury duty. I would have been a horrible jury, but it could have been funny.

My third question was how much longer did I need to be watched 24/7. Since I’ve been home I had to have someone watch me 24/7. Mainly that is just to make sure I don’t fall down because half my skull is in my stomach. And while I so thankful to the amazing people who have volunteered to come hang out with me, it’s getting a little bit old. I’ve a very independent person (I live by myself and love it) and would just love some alone time. He said I could stop having someone watch me 24/7 pretty much any time. My parents and I talked and they’ll make sure I’m covered this week, but starting next week they slowly start giving me periods of time where I can be alone!!!! It’s not that I’m happy to kick people out of my house, but I’m just really excited to have some of my normal routine back!

My fourth question was when I could go back to work. My HR department won’t let me start working again, even from home, until I get approval from my doctor. Dr. Hormes thought it would be great if I went back to work sooner than later. So, next week I can work part time from home. And then starting the following week I can start working part time from the office. I’m really excited to get back in the swing of things at United Way. I hate that I’ve missed most of campaign season, but I know some amazing folks have filled in for me. I am so grateful to them. I’ll have to have people drive me to and from the office for a couple weeks because it will be at least 3 more weeks before I can start driving again. But I do have a handicap-parking pass which folks are jealous of J

And my last question (and probably the most important) was when are they going to put my skull back in my head. Having part of my skull in my stomach has been the most uncomfortable thing ever!!!!!! The skull shifts all the time. And it is so uncomfortable to ride in a car because of the bumps and the seatbelt pushing on it since the skull is on my left hip. I have an MRI scheduled the morning Nov. 4 to see if I can come of cumodine (they won’t do the surgery until I stop taking that medicine). So a lot of it depends on what the MRI says. But Dr. Hormes thinks I will get a good report since the last two times they’ve stapped my fingers to check how the cumodine was doing it was at the right level. So he thinks I’ll have my second surgery to put my skull back in will be in 5 weeks (which is actually thanksgiving and right after my bday). So I’m really excited to get that taken care of. They have to shave the left side of my head again cause they’ll use the same scare to put things in, but it will be covered up pretty quickly because my hair grows pretty quickly. And they’ll use the same scare on my stomach to pull my skull out of its resting place. I don’t like that scare cause you can see it, but one of my friends said she’ll give me the contact information for a plastic surgeon who can fix it so it’s not visible. That might be my Christmas present. We’ll see.

Dr. Hormes also wants to do a new study with me as the basis. They have still yet to figure out why things were not caught sooner than they were and why a pretty healthy and active 26 year old had a stroke, needed to have emergency brain surgery and was literally at deaths door. And he’s been so amazing at how well I’ve been recovering. So now I’ll be famous in the medical world J

So Thursday was a very good day. Thank you so much to all of you who have continued to pray for me. Our family has been so blessed by so many people and we will be so thankful to you guys for the rest of our lives. I know I think I’ve gone through hell, but so has my family. I mean my parents almost lost their only daughter. They’re trying to get through all of this, plus keep up with their work. We’re all so tired by the end of the day, so I think a trip to St. Simons will be good for all of us. Just to get away for a few days will be good.

Sorry this was another long blog, but there was a lot to update. Plus I didn’t get to write one yesterday morning cause I was busy playing with Tripp J

Chicks don’t dig scares

So there is a saying from a movie (I can’t remember which one) that chicks dig scares. That might be true if a guy has a scare, but a girl having a scare isn’t fun. At least that is what I think.

I now have 2 scares on my body from my whole ordeal at the hospital. I have a big one on the left side of my heat where they removed part of my skull for my emergency brain surgery. It won’t be as visible though because my hair grows back very quickly. Right now my hair is super short – I cut it all off. When I was in the hospital the surgeon only cut the left side of my hair so I had about 12 inches on the right side of my hair. But the Saturday after I got home from the hospital I went to my hair dresser to get it all cut off. I miss my long curly hair, but tons of people have told me they love my short hair. I’ve also started wearing a lot of hats now to help cover up my scare – I’ve never been a big hat person, but now I’ve started wearing them. I went to Charming Charlies at the West Cobb Avenues this week and bought several new hats.

The scare I’m the least bit excited about is the one on my stomach. It’s about 3 inches long and is on my left side. That is where part of my skull is living right now. I’ll find out on Monday when the doctor might consider putting my skull back in my head. The reason I don’t like that scare is too reasons. One is it really is uncomfortable. My skull keeps shifting so it really annoying. Riding in a car hurts a lot cause the seatbelt pushes on it. So I’ve figured out how to lean back like a gangster so it doesn’t hurt so bad. And then the other reason I don’t like it is I don’t like that I will now have a permanent visible scare on my stomach. Its very big and I can really notice it. My parents tell me it will fade away and not be as prominent, but I notice it all the time. If I wear a bathing suit it is noticeable. Its something I never thought I would have.

Hopefully on Monday the surgeon will tell me when they’re put my skull back in my head. I have to spend the night at the hospital again, but the doctor says its basically an out patient surgery. But they’ll have to open up both scares again and I’ll have to have more staples put in my scares (really cute I know).

So I don’t aggress with the saying that chicks dig scares now that I have two permanent big scares. But I guess it better to have scares and be alive. That’s the positive.

The best medicine is spending the day with your best friend

So Monday was a great day because I got to spend the day with my best friend Elise Nichols. She is an amazing friend that I can't say thank you enough to. For the next couple of weeks I'm not allowed to be left alone at all (which is really annoying), but it was great to have Elise stay with me on Monday cause she treated me like I was normal. I miss my independence.

She helped me write my blog from yesterday because a lot of what happened to me I don't even remember or understand. Plus my spelling isn't as well right now so she spell-checked everything :). Then we watched the movie "Something Borrowed." We had both read the book the movie was based on, and the movie was pretty good.

Then I had her help me with a couple things. First she helped me pick out a dress for Kelli Kite's wedding in St. Simons. I learn on Thursday from my doctor if I'm allowed to go (fingers crossed). And then we went out to the Avenues in west Cobb to go shopping at Charming Charlies. I needed to get a hat because the wedding is outdoors. I ended up getting 3 hats and 2 purses - it was hard to figure out which one I really wanted so I got them all. I've never been a big hat person, but now that I have supper short hair I sometimes have to wear hats so that my head has more coverage. I miss my long curly hair, but having short hair makes it very easy to get ready in the morning. It takes like 2 minutes to dry after I get out of the shower. I just changed out my purse to one of my new ones and found about 4 rubberbands in my old purse that I don't even need anymore.

After spending tons of money at Charming Charlie Elise and I went to Chilli's for lunch. That is one of our favorite places to eat, and they have really good strawberry lemonade. I treated her to lunch since she was helping to take care of me. We also had dessert and the waitress told us about their seasonal  red velvet dessert. It was soooooo good - if you eat at Chilli's anytime soon you should try it!

Elise and I also planned our next big trip. This April we went and spent 10 days in Hawaii, and we've always said our next vacation will be to Greece. We've decided to go when we both turn 30, which is in just over 3 years. Both of us are a little short on vacation and it would be a great 30th bday trip.

After we got home from running errands I had to put up all the dishes in the dishwasher (my physical trainer has given me chores like I'm a teenager to help get my body back to work - today I have to do laundry). And then I took a nap and she read her book. But it was just a great time to spend the day with my best friend. We talked a lot, laughed a lot, and I was able to just be honest with her and tell her how I was feeling. I thank God so much that I have such a special friend!!!!!

A new life - God gave me a second opportunity at life

So I haven't posted a blog is a long time - April was my last post. I got a puppy in March and life was going pretty well since then. Summer camp in July was awesome and then my brother and sister in law had their first baby, Tripp, in August. But my world turned upside down and inside out in Sept.  I've been encouraged to start writing my blog again to help in the recovery. So here it goes:

On the  night of Sept. 13, I went to the ER at Kennestone hospital with my mom because I was having a Crohn's episode. I was diagnosed with Crohn's August 2010 and had it pretty under control, but it flaired up again this Sept. I had a colonoscopy and was at the hospital until Sept. 17. That night I had a horrible headache and by the next morning it was really bad. At first my parents just thought it was a migraine headache, but by Sunday night they new something was wrong because I couldn't remember anything including who I was or who they where. So they rushed me back to the hospital (even though I didn't want to go). After a horrible experience in the ER (we spent 3 hours in the waiting room), I finally got seen by a doctor who discovered that I had a stroke. They moved me up to the ICU where I stayed for a couple of days. I then got moved up to the 7th floor and on Saturday night Sept. 24 my mom started calling all the nurses cause I was in a lot of pain, I kept throwing up. I don't remember a lot of the things that happened next but my parents have tried to tell me some things.

Apparently on Sunday Sept. 25 two doctors took me into emergency surgery to remove part of my skull because my brain was swelling. (now I have part of my scull in my stomach and hope to have it put back in my head in the next few weeks). I was then intubated for 2 days and my mom says they had me on the same medicine that Michael Jackson was addicted too. I was finally pulled off the ventilator after about 2 days and stayed in the ICU for over 2 weeks. I had some really amazing nurses that I loved and they were so helpful. For a couple of days I couldn't talk so I would just respond to questions with my fingers. But I eventually started to whisper. My parents spent the whole time with me - they alternated spending the night. And my little brother Blake celebrated his birthday with me in ICU. That was all he wanted for his bday. My older brother Franklin would also come visit me a lot, but he wasn't allowed to bring Tripp, which made me sad.

I was finally moved to a step down room on Monday Oct. 10 and they finally took out my NG tube out of my nose on Wed. 12 (that thing was really annoying).  Once I got to the step down room I got to wear real clothes instead of silly hospital gowns. That was really nice. And I started eating more food (except hospital food is not very good so my parents would bring me food). They also tried to make me drink a lot of ensure and boost but I refused to drink that saying it was old people food.

On Friday Oct. 14 I got to go home from the hospital. One of my doctors (I now have 4) came and removed all the staples from my head and stomach (I didn't like that at all and I have to have more staples put in my head and stomach when they put my skull back in). And then I had a new nurse take the picc line out of my arm (a picc line is a large IV that goes all the way to your heart - I didn't know it was that big until she pulled it out). After the new nurse pulled the picc line I had to lay flat while she applied pressure for 30 minutes. I then got to leave the hospital about 20 minutes later. My mom and I left the hospital and went to my house (my parents are staying with me because I can't be left alone at all and they're getting the floors redone at their house after it was damaged during a storm this summer). I was sitting on the couch while my mom was unloading the car and about 20 minutes after we'd been home, I look down at where my picc line was and noticed it was bleeding. I called my mom and started crying. She grabbed some towels and started putting pressure on my arm and gave me my phone to call 911.  My dad got to my house about 5 minutes later and walked in and saw mom putting pressure on my arm and talking to Marietta 911. They then arrived about 2 minutes after that (and they were very cute!) They came in and helped my mom get my arm to stop bleeding and kept asking me if I wanted to go back to the hospital. I said no - i'd been there long enough. My arm hasn't started bleeding any more, but for a couple days I checked it like every hour cause I was afraid it would happen again.

So I've now been home from the hospital over 1 week. It's so good to be home, but I know I have a long recovery to go. I am most alert and remember things in the morning. And by 8:30 at night I'm completely worn out and in a lot of pain. I have a headache nonstop and have to take a lot of pain pills. And I have to go to one of my 4 doctors a lot - and most of the time I go I have blood drawn (although now they just prick my finger). I feel like a human pin cushion.

So I know that was a lot to write, and I probably forgot some things (like the few days I had to give myselfs shots in the stomach). But this has been an overwhelming experience. The doctors have tried to figure out why a pretty healthy 26 year old girl had a stroke but they've yet to figure it out and told me I might never know. I've had a lot of conversations with God (sometime I'm angry, sometimes I'm just crying, most of the time I'm just confused). None of this makes sense, but I know that God has given me a second chance at life. I don't know what's ahead for me, but many people have told me I'll have a great testimony to share and encourage people.

So right now I'm trying to take one day at a time. I do know that I am surrounded by amazing friends and family who are encouraging and supporting me through all of this. My best friend Elise Nichols has been my constant supporter. She's staying with me today. We've been best friends for a long time but I can't even begin to say thank you enough to her for everything she's done. And people have been supporting my parents and brothers through this terrible ordeal. I thank God for putting all of this encouraging people in our lives that have done all sorts of things from bringing us food, checking out mail or putting new flowers in front of my house.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I still have a lot of recovery, but I know I'll be back to my normal self at some point and this will all just be a terrible dream!